Not The Relationship I Want

For every successful marriage I've seen, I found 9 that were unsuccessful. While they may not of given up on the vow, they've given up on trying to find happiness within it. Instead of spending time growing closer together they looked for flaws in each other with the aim to change them which created, over time, resentment rather than love.

"Human nature dictates that angriness, boredom and/or irritation will end any relationship given enough time."
-unknown

These bad relationships, filled with daily torture sessions, brings out the worse version of those involved. How can you possibly find happiness when there's frequent negativity in the home?

"Success in marriage is more than finding the right person; it is being the right person."

-Robert Browning

Choosing who to marry is the most important decision in life but we have to keep in mind that the only person we have control over is ourselves. Many will say that relationships have to be 50/50 but why not give it your 100%? It's not about what your partner can do for you but what you can do for them. Some days, you may not be able to give more than 20% but maybe they'll be able to compensate by giving 60%. The point here is, of course, not to do things solely to get even; Do what is necessary regardless of "who's turn" it is.

"If you are not honest with yourself, you will not be capable of honesty with others. Self-deception is the enemy of relationships. It also undermines personal growth. If a person does not admit his shortcomings, he cannot improve." 

-John C. Maxwell

The below are book recommendation for those wanting to be better partners to their spouse.

• "5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman
• "Personality Plus" by Florence Littauer
• "His needs her needs" by Willard F. Harley
• "The 5 Language of Apology" by Gary Chapman

"Unspoken assumptions and unexpressed expectations are common relationship “deal-breakers. But when you are willing to learn to express yourself by clarifying assumptions and expectations you will find more happiness and less stress in your relationships."

-Sarah Zink

Bread Isn't the Issue

A friend of mine has been told that he needs to lower his bread/potatoes/pasta (carb...) consumption in order to help manage his weight and sugars. While removing carbs from your diet certainly will help with weight management, the issue with the amount of bread we're eating but that the consumption is higher than the body is able to process.

But I DO exercise...

Some will argue that they do exercise. They run errands, mow the lawn or do chores around the house... That should be enough right? Well that depends: Do you have weight related problems? Belly fat, high cholesterol/blood pressure (...)those are the hard data. If your body mass index is too high (fat), then what you're doing isn't enough.

Carbs isn't poisonous...

It's all about balance. If you exercise a lot, then you're burning more carbs and can therefor allow yourself to consume more. If you have a sedentary lifestyle then you need to eat less. Your carb consumption needs to match your lifestyle failure to do so can cause problems at either extremes.

Social Media Feeds Our Desires But Is Ultimately Empty

“We love the life stories of other people, and cannot be sated with too much such detail. Gossip is the means by which we learn and shape our social network.”

-Edward O. Wilson

Part of the reason why social media is so popular is because it feeds into our desire to learn about other people’s lives. The issue, however, is the lives presented to us are artificial which creates a superficial, often unfulfilling, social network.

Richard Reeves, from the below video, explains that loneliness is as bad as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. We've never been as connected as we are today yet we are as alone as we've ever been.

For 2025, make it a goal to meet some old friends or get to know new people.

Repeating Lies To Control A Nation

“One of the saddest lessons of history is this: If we’ve been bamboozled long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle. We’re no longer interested in finding out the truth. The bamboozle has captured us. It’s simply too painful to acknowledge, even to ourselves, that we’ve been taken. Once you give a charlatan power over you, you almost never get it back. So the old bamboozles tend to persist as the new ones rise.”
-Carl Sagan

A lie repeated over time becomes believable because we are creatures that finds comfort within our habits or what is known to us. 

We could learn, or assimilate, new information but that would require time/effort which we don't have. It's much easier to "fallback" on what is known to us.

"If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it."

-Joseph Goebbels

One of the first thing a new Dictator does is take over the media in order to control the message shared with the people. Always be careful of those that have an invested interest in having you think a certain way. If you feel like you're being brainwashed then you probably are which is your cue to stop listening.

"There are truths which are best recognized by mediocre minds, because they are best adapted for them, there are truths which only possess charms and seductive power for the mediocre spirits..."

- Friedrich Nietzsche

Any entity that spreads misinformation or encourages division in a society needs to be silenced not by an enforcer (who could enforce such a thing?) but by the masses. This means that we, the people, need to develop the skills necessary for the identification of those bad actors.

Remember that lies must be repeated in order to become believable...

School is for Reading and Inspiration

"There is nothing which an better deserve our patronage than the promotion of science and literature. Knowledge is in every country the surest basis of public happiness."

-George Washington (Address to Congress, January 8, 1790)

Public school will be, to some, their only exposure to a system of education. If the educational system has failed to teach them how to read, or inspire to self-educate, then the system has failed them.

Learning is supposed to be fun...

While it's true that some things can be difficult/stressful to learn, if all the student remembers from school is anguish or boredom then how likely will he be to pickup a book later on in life?

“In a world in transition, students and teachers both need to teach themselves one essential skill—learning how to learn.”

-Carl Sagan