Where are the Successful Marriages?

Almost 15 years ago, I had attended a leadership seminar pertaining to "success in marriage". The couple speaking appeared genuine and I've always considered them to be the template for relationships.

After decades of marriage, the 2 of them have split and my view on marriage got shattered with it.

While I've seen long term marriages, I have never encountered a marriage that was, what I would consider to be, a successful one. There's no intimacy, no happiness - just strangers sharing a house. This is made worse with the rise of personal devices and people preferring to numb themselves rather than face problems with their partners.

Big Red Button & Wisdom

"If we continue to accumulate only power and not wisdom, we will surely destroy ourselves."
-Carl Sagan

We live in a world where it's easier to kill a Billion people than to befriend them. Our ability to destroy far outweighs our ability, or patience, to see things from someone else's perspective for the purpose of making a friend. When we add to this that friendships we've built over decades can be destroyed in an instant... we're not setting ourselves up for long term survival success.

"Except for fools and madmen, everyone knows that nuclear war would be an unprecedented human catastrophe."
-Carl Sagan

A bomb has no other purpose than to explode - it's an accident waiting to happen. Stability today doesn't guarantee stability tomorrow. A good, responsible, government today doesn't guarantee one tomorrow yet they'll still have access to those bombs.

Technology is making things worse by controlling the direction of information. The authors have the ability to sway the populace which ever direction they chooses - usually to their advantage.

"The nuclear arms race is like two sworn enemies standing waist‑deep in gasoline, one with three matches, the other with five."
-Carl Sagan

Wisdom has become an obligation the moment we've started developing weapons capable of destroying our planet.

Debt Is A Risk

The reason why business owners keep the profit is because they shoulder the risk of the company. If the company fails the owner has much more to loose than what an employee would loose (his job).

We could argue, however, that employees take on additional risk, without any potential profit, via personal debt. When they loose a job they also can loose much as they won't be able to repay their loans.

As an employee, it's important to be mindful of the sort of debt you decide to take on as it will need to be repaid. If you're not a business owner then don't take on the risk of owning one.

What You Consume Influence You

We're shaped by what we consume. What goes through our senses, our eyes and ears, shape our mind while what goes through our mouth shape our body.

“Good thoughts and actions can never produce bad results; bad thoughts and actions can never produce good results. This is but saying that nothing can come from corn but corn, nothing from nettles but nettles. Men understand this law in the natural world, and work with it; but few understand it in the mental and moral world (though its operation there is just as simple and undeviating), and they, therefore, do not cooperate with it.”

-As a Man Thinketh by James Allen

Years ago, I was told that if you filled a bottle with mustard the only thing that could get out of it is mustard. We ought to be mindful about what we consume as it can either pull us in a positive, or negative, direction. Consuming junk isn't as likely to have a positive impact on our bodies/mind than consuming good things.

You are who you are today partly by what you've consumed up to this point. If you like things as they are then continue on that path. If you don't, then make a change.

Pay Yourself First?

The origin of "Pay yourself first" is perhaps the most important lesson from the "The Richest Man in Babylon" book by George S. Clason.  The novel, with lessons on finances, takes place in Babylon where working class individuals are inquiring to their wealthy friends on how to become wealthy. One said advice was to "pay yourself first".

What does it mean?

It doesn't mean spending money on yourself but to save it for your future self. According to the book, we ought to put aside 10% of money earned on our future self. Once we've accumulated enough, then we can use some of that money for investing - only investing the money we can afford to loose.

A friend of mine spends all her money because "she doesn't know how long she has to live" and was using that as an excuse. Her philosophy isn't wrong but it's not uncommon for people today to live well into their 80s.

"You can be young without money, but you can't be old without it" 

-Tennessee Williams

Today, not only are people not saving (sometimes they can't) they borrow from their future selves instead - putting themselves in a situation they can't get out of. 

How you live is up to you but I would encourage you to find ways to save money. You'll sleep better at night with a nest egg than without one.