In a crazy way, I think we sometime want to get hurt. Have you ever been on the “victim” side of a break-up? Were you compel to ask for news about your ex afterwards? What “good” did that do?
This situation is like removing a band-aid quickly then, when asking for news, putting it back on just to remove it afterwards (There’s more than one way to see this).
Pain is often a good indicator of the things that need to change. However, we seem to willingly look for it at times when we should walk to opposite way.
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