Imaginary Enemies

In Pirates of the Caribbean, we sympathize with the Pirates when in reality they're the enemy. They plunder, rape, kill and do all sorts of other troublesome things. With a good enough story, our moral compass can sway which ever direction the author chooses.

The same thing is happening in real life...

The enemies are created by bad actors that have found their way into politics. They're the ones saying that Jews/Muslims/French/Russians/British... are bad people. They repeat the lies at such a grand scale, so often, that it becomes believable.

"...demonizing an dehumanizing a group can pave the way toward harming its members."

-Steven Pinker

There's always a possibility that a supposed enemy is actually evil but it's mostly a matter of perspective or gaining power; Divide to conquer is a tactic as old as civilization itself. We only ever hear one side of a story and for each fingers we point at someone, 3 more are pointing in our direction. Nazi soldiers believed themselves to be fighting for the greater good. Which side, good or evil, we're on always depends on who we're listening to but only the winning side gets to choose how they'll be remembered.

Forever "Cringe"

When I was a kid, I fabricated a story where my cousin Marc created a club for which I would go at night and all sorts of crazy things would be happening (alien encounters, development of secret weapons...) All of this was made up and pretty "cringe".

I would tell these stories to my friends and most wouldn't believe me (of course).

It's not uncommon for a kid to create stories but fast forward 20+ years and nobody remembers, or cares about, my cringy stories. While I may of gotten some weird looks from my schoolmates, these ended when I got home.
Nowadays, you have kids share these stories online for the entire world to see which opens the doors for bad actors to embarrass the author - online/at home/forever.

It's a lot more difficult to be a kid today than it use to be. Cringy stories are forever recorded into the annals of the Internet. The school bullies have made their way into the homes.
Parents have a responsibility to limit their child's online activities until such times as they get a better feel of what it means to be human and partake in a society with its good and bad actors.

There's Always Going to Be Someone Better

When in a relationship you can always find someone "better" if you keep looking. They're not necessary better, but they're new and exciting - just like a new car. Once the excitement is gone... onwards to the next relationship and the cycle continues until such time as the desire to do so is still there.

"The grass is greener where you water it."

-Neil Barringham

The choice of a partner is the most important decision that we can make. If we don't find someone that adds to our peace then our life will become miserable. While there's always a possibility that we're still looking because we feel like we've made the "wrong choice" it's also possible that we're just bored and looking for something new and exciting which doesn't, usually, end up with anything meaningful. 

You can't go back on these decisions.

There's always going to be someone better which is why that, at some point, we must decide to no longer pursue another mate if, of course, there's desire to build a long/lasting relationship.

The person who's comfortable being alone tends to think more clearly about his association as they don't want anyone that would disturb their peace too much. Once older, we're also prone to be more careful with our intimate association as our testosterone level (men) are lower which, again, is something that allows us to think more clearly about relationships.

Feeling Chemicals

Hate, love, happiness... we know how it "feels" because the feeling is tied to a chemical in the brain that, once activated, allows us to feel.

When someone says "I just want to be happy" what they actually mean is that they want the chemicals related to happiness to be within acceptable parameters within the brain. How these chemicals are activated may vary from person to person. Reading may make some people happy, for example, and make someone else miserable.

It's possible to activate these feelings through artificial means.

“...Part of the process of discovering your Life Purpose has to do with being in touch with your feelings. Your feelings are clue to what your life purpose is all about. By noticing how you feel about things, you’ll discover what you value and what you don’t. Things that don’t trigger much emotion probably aren’t tied to your purpose or the application of it - at least for now....”

-Chuck Goetschel

Our entire being is dependent on chemical reactions within the brain. It's through them that we design our life. We make decisions based on how we feel which means that a chemical imbalance, artificial or otherwise, could be the difference between a life of success or failure. We must be aware of these nuances with biological life and not make important decisions when our emotions are high. A calm, collected, demeanor is a much better time to make decisions than under the influence of an emotion running wild.

Training Our Brain

“He who does anything because it is the custom, makes no choice. He gains no practice either in discerning or in desiring what is best. The mental and moral, like the muscular powers, are improved only by being used. The faculties are called into no exercise by doing a thing merely because others do it, no more than by believing a thing only because others believe it. If the grounds of an opinion are not conclusive to the person's own reason, his reason cannot be strengthened, but is likely to be weakened by his adopting it: and if the inducements to an act are not such as are consentaneous to his own feelings and character (where affection, or the rights of others, are not concerned), it is so much done towards rendering his feelings and character inert and torpid, instead of active and energetic.”

-From “On Liberty” book by John Stuart Mill

In which environment are we supposed to be practicing our mental faculties?

We haven't really built a society where intellectualism is encouraged. School is about memorization, work is doing what we're told and the home is where we shut our brain and do as little thinking as possible.

"...a mind that feeds only on itself soon is undernourished, becoming weak and incapable of creative progressive thought. Stimulation from others is excellent mind food." 

- David J. Scwartz

For someone that reads on a regular basis, it can be difficult to find stimulation in the conversation with non-readers. As I mentioned before, there's a thinking distance phenomenon felt during discussions, with a non-reader, which is made increasingly evident the more books someone has read (since the distance is now greater). Stimulating discussion, to an intellectual, are sadly few and far in-between.

Again, the question is how are we suppose to practice our mental faculties?

While we may not be able to change our work situation, educational system or relations - we can choose how we spend our free time. If we expose ourselves to new experiences, or books, it should help with our mental abilities. Writing is likely the best thing we can do to develop our mental capabilities.

As John Stuart Mill said, the brain is a muscle that needs to be trained and it falls on us to insure that we give it proper training.

Voting Democracy Out

“History shows that almost all tyrants have been demagogues who gained the favour of the people by their accusations of the notables.”

-Aristotle

How did we get here? This is something I've been asking myself every day since we've learned about the American Presidential election results. 

While it certainly happened before, I never thought I would witness, firsthand, the possible fall of a Democracy as a result of popular vote. To me, the only way to bring down this form of Government would of been through force but what can be done when the majority wants something different?

"If a nation expects to be ignorant and free, in a state of civilization, it expects what never was and never will be."

-Thomas Jefferson

The problem is that the voters have no idea what they're actually voting for as they're only paying attention to that "one thing" that matters most to them. The candidate, of course, has gone to great lengths to insure to be seen as the only person who can fix whatever issue "that" is. Lies, deceit ... anything to get power - that's the only motivation of tyrants.

Hopefully, the American people will realize the error in their ways and do what is necessary to rectify it. I doubt history will remember favorably this period as the representation of the Country is no longer exhibiting the values of the founding members.

As I'm trying to wrap my head around what happened, I leave you with this advise: Don't give up, educate yourself, hope for the best but prepare for the worst. 

Book Recommendation: "A Miracle That Changed the World. The 5000 Year Leap" by Dr. W. Cleon Skousen

So This Is How You Destroy A Democracy...

“Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety."

-Benjamin Franklin

Americans have shown us that the way to loose a democracy is not by force but through popular vote.

Americans have shown that if you give people freedoms they eventually, willingly, surrender it.

Americans have shown us that they would rather have a convicted felon than a highly educated woman, with a wealth of law/politic experience, to represent them.

The United States of America, as we know it, is no more: It was killed by it's own people. The once great nation is but a shadow of it's former self and the world is now worse because of it.

It's not clear which form of Government will emerge but it's unlikely to remain as it is now.

“LIKE THE FRAMERS themselves, many Americans in the early years of the Republic truly regarded the Constitution as a miracle. Not only did they praise the competence, wisdom, and motivations of those who served in the federal convention of 1787, but they declared that the formation and adoption of our new system of federal government represented a political achievement unprecedented in human history. They looked upon it, moreover, as an event that was actually "influenced, guided and governed" by the hand of God. Thus it is not hard to understand why our Founding Fathers believed that the Constitution was destined to bless all mankind-and that it was "incumbent on their successors" to preserve and defend our national charter of liberty…”

-Andrew M. Allison

The Canadian Government has A Problem

I've watched hours of political debates lately and am frustrated with most of what I saw: A bunch of politicians trying to justify their existence through needless bickering with little to no progress made on the subject of the day - How are we, the citizens, benefiting from this? 

The problem in Canada is two political parties owns almost the same amount of seats. Every decisions made, by either parties, are met with a barrage of criticism and the charade is carried out for days. In situations like this, what's even the point of these debates?

The obvious fix is to have a majority Government but even then we need ways to improve this process as we can't be spending weeks to come to an agreement on the most basic of decisions. We can't be having all these people in a room for hours with no progress made.

In the private sector, business leaders don't have the luxury of endless meetings to make decisions as time is money but Government has access to a large amount of money and can take however much time they want. 

Am I missing something or can this process be improved in some way?

If Easier is Available

Nobody will take the most difficult path if an easier path is made available to them. This is not only true for humans but also for other species as well.

My dad recently placed a bird feeder on his property and a large gathering of birds have ensued. They eat the free food with such vigor that one has to wonder what they were eating before this came along.
This has been going on long enough that birds are now waiting for the food to come rather than find their own. The birds will continue to wait for as long as they have hope that more food will come.

Humans are like that too aren't they? If you offer them social assistance, you effectively remove their willingness to go hunt for their own food. This will go on for as long as there's free money available.
While I understand that some can't get their own food and are required to be on social assistance - others are abusing it.

12 Years of Education = Minimum Wage?

In Canada, the first 12 years of education is equivalent to a minimum wage job which is a lot of years spent learning only to end up earning minimum wage. Couldn't we optimize this process?

Part of the problem is, of course, that the more people know something the less value it ultimately has in the eyes of an employer. If only one person knows how to count, then he becomes more valuable to the eyes of an employer looking for that skill. If a thousand people knows how to count, then that position goes down in value because the pool of applicants is bigger.

This suggest that part of the optimization of our educational system would require a degree of customization tailored to each child's skills (which will likely be possible with the introduction of A.I.). 

I'm certainly not suggesting that we should have 10 year old doctors... just that 12 years is a long time for someone not to get the skills necessary to earn anything more than minimum wage. The current process is only acceptable for a child growing up as they have a lot of times on their hands - something no human beings, at any other stages of their lives, has.

The temporary solution is for the students to take ownership of their education - to go beyond the basics and to start exposing researching career interests. It's possible for a child, for example, to be a certified programmer even before they complete high school. The courses are online for those that want to take advantage of them.

The 45 Year Plan - Work Until You Die

The employee career path isn't designed to make anyone wealthy - it's designed to get us to work until we die. If we succumb to the marketing pressures, it's even less likely that we'll reach retirement with significant savings.

To break free of this "rat race" cycle, one must first take notice of it and then have the financial discipline necessary to, eventually, not require to actively partake in it. Sometimes, this means that we must forgo buying things in the immediate moment for future gains. Things, such as, streaming services, gaming services, internet, excessive hobbies, cars... could be destroying our future financial situation. It's important to identify the things that are holding us back and removing them from our lives.

We need to find ways to be less of a consumer and more of a producer keeping in mind that in a society based on consumerism, it's easier to be a consumer than a producer.

"Comfort is the worse addiction."

-Marcus Aurelius

The 45 year plan...

If you have no plans for your life then you're on, what is commonly referred to as, the 45 year plan. You start working in your early 20s, get a few pay increases until you're in your 30s where you plateau until you reach the retirement age of 65 (that may change) where you'll retire with a third of the money you barely could live off of while you were working. 

If that doesn't sound like a good plan then to you spend some time thinking about how you want your life to unfold and act accordingly, Keep in mind the following:

• You need a goal and to follow-through on them.
• Be mindful of the sort of debt you decide to take on. Getting a loan for a 4wheeler isn't the same as getting a loan for a house. 
• Have a budget that include contributions to saving/investment accounts.
• You partner must also be on board with the change. If you start saving, and your partner is spending... then it's not going to work.
• To earn more, you have to become more. Invest in yourself through self-education. Spend some time reading, watching documentaries, listen to podcast... on a wide range of self-improvement subjects. 
• Exercise and eat good food. Be mindful of your body - if it's under too much stress then you won't be able to think clearly. A healthy mind/body is more productive.
• Expand your social circle to include people that have the results that you want in life. Your life is roughly the average of your 5 closets friends. If you want a better life then hangout with people with better results. Good associations can expose you to better opportunities.

The 45 year plan doesn't have to be the plan for your life. Make the decision to move away from it.

"You don't pick your destiny. You pick your habits that in turn pick your destiny." 

-Claude Hamilton

Take Ownership of the Important Decisions

Every once in a while we have to make important decisions. Avoiding making these decisions typically means that someone else will have to make them for us.

The biggest advantage of taking ownership of these important decisions is that we get to plan out how to go about it. If we no longer can afford our house, for example, deciding to sell it in favor of a smaller one is better than having the bank kick us out. In both situations, we loose the house but one way is carried out how we want to proceed while the other one isn't.

Small decisions also follow this principle however the impact of them are also small.

To take ownership of the important decisions is to have better control over the outcomes of those decisions.

The Confident and Knowledgeable Leader

“It is sad but true fact that many men of mediocre ability get further than others who have outstanding talents, merely because they know how to act confidently.

All the great leaders of men have known the importance of acting in a confident way.”

-Les Giblin

In addition to confidence, a good leader must be knowledgeable in the areas he’s expected to lead. A confident leader, without knowledge, is a leader that doesn’t know where he’s going.

I’ve realized recently that I’ve become someone knowledgeable at work but my confidence isn’t where it needs to be for me to achieve the next level of my career. There’s some doubt in my heart that likely flows through my voice, my work, or in how I behave.

Confidence isn’t something that comes up naturally to me - it’s something I constantly have to work on. Books, such as “How to have confidence and power in dealing with people” by Les Giblin, helps tremendously.

A confident person, without ability, is more likely to achieve greater success than the person with ability but with no confidence. While confidence isn’t everything, it definitely is important.

Arguments in Relationships

While dating, the arguments that would arise were about things that didn't warrant an argument, at least not from my perspective. I find these pain points/arguments from relationships in my entourage as well and can't help but feel like nobody knows how to get along anymore. I get a sense that relationships are fuelled by emotional immaturity rather than a true desire to be with someone.

"Emotional immaturity in relationships often manifests as difficulty handling conflicts, lack of empathy, and poor communication skills. With the rise of digital communication, some argue that people might not develop the same depth of interpersonal skills as before, leading to misunderstandings and conflicts."
-Copilot, A.I. assistant

One of my mentor once told me that, in relationships, what's most important is to pick your battles - not everything warrants an arguments. The important part is to focus on the big picture. The issue with this logic is different people value different things. The battles worth fighting, for one person, may not be considered as such from another.
I remember this one instance where I had done the dishes and my girlfriend at the time came for her "inspection" and found some items that weren't cleaned to her liking - an argument ensued which I didn't feel was warranted.

Arguments in relationships aren't things that we can opt-out of. If you, or your partner, wants to argue about something then there will be an argument about it. You can't control your partner however you get to decide what your arguments are going to be about - choose wisely.

Profiting from Education & Housing is Weird

40 years ago, it was possible to land a good job with nothing but a high school education. Nowadays, a high school diploma gives you a minimum wage job. Even without considering inflation, the current educational system is a bad deal.

40 years ago, many companies offered on the job training. Now the responsibility falls on the individual to fund his own education. Sometimes, that education doesn't amount to anything.

Houses are simply no longer affordable...

I'm not going to say that education/housing are a human rights but making money off of someone's need for education/housing is odd. The only way for someone to make progress in the society that we've built is through proper education and housing yet we've locked that down behind a paywall constantly adjusted to an ever increasing inflation.

Can society really thrive in a situation like this? How many would be great doctors have chosen a more affordable path?

Should there be a cost to Education/Housing? Of course! Someone has to put that together and they deserve to be compensated for it. The problem isn't that there's a cost associated to education/housing - it's that the cost is too high and there's a need to profit from it.

Some people buy houses for the purpose of renting them out at a profit. What is the landlord adding in value to the renter or society as a whole? Is the landlord mowing the lawn really worth the 2x monthly fee paid for the house?

Owning renting properties is a legitimate step that many can take to reach financial freedom. The frustrating part is that not everyone can partake in this endeavor. The renter is, more often than not, forever stuck into the system - not able to get out of it because a chunk of his paycheck is going towards his house or to repay his education.

Perception and Reality

It has been said that humans aren’t perfect. This is especially true in the world of perception as our sensory organs only perceive a fraction of reality and the brain is interpreting the rest. This interpretation could, of course, be wrong since it isn’t entirely based in reality - filling in the blanks does mean that the blanks could be filed incorrectly.

Both our brain and sensory organs have limited capabilities that would need to be upgraded to process more of the reality that surrounds us. It’s something that is likely not going to happen naturally but there could be a future where technology is used for bodily upgrades. Even today, technology is used to provide data with a precision not possible by simply using the means available via our bodies.

Somehow, humanity has learned to navigate through these uncertainties but it does beg the question of how much are we missing out on? What would be the possibilities if our brain could perceive reality more accurately? How often have we been wrong simply because we don’t have the correct/complete picture of an event? 

Multiply these uncertainties by the amount of years humanity has been around and by how many people has ever lived and the result, for better or worse, is our present moment.

“There’s no truth. There is only perception.” 

-Gustave Flaubert

We’re very trusting of our views on reality but that’s only because we don’t know how much of it is wrong. We’re only now beginning to understand our limitations and it’s only a question of time before we find ways to improve our perception of the world.

What is philosophy?

When I was a kid, I didn’t know the difference between psychology and philosophy. 

Psychology is the study of the mind. Philosophy is a set of rules we consciously, or unconsciously, live by.

Philosophy is all around us. Society is a philosophy, government is a philosophy, religion is a philosophy… how you run your family affair is a philosophy. Every day, we swim in a sea of philosophical beliefs. This is one of the reasons why learning about philosophy is so important - it helps to understand our place in the universe.

What is the best philosophy to follow?

As you go through life, you take in what you like and reject what you don't like which ultimately becomes your, unique, philosophy. For it to be considered "the best" you need to challenge it through continuous learning. 

The best philosophy is found within the discovery of self.

Why Immortality?

We are living with an awareness of ourselves and the limitation of life. Biologically speaking, the ultimate goal is immortality – to reach a point where death is a choice. What other end is there for a biological specie of intellect?
Extending life indefinitely cannot be a characteristic unique to our specie. There must be a point, for any biological specie of intellect (with limited lifespan), where efforts are made towards extending life as much as possible.

Why Immortality?

Of course, immortality isn’t for everyone; Some will say that life is meant to end while others wonder how things will be a thousand years from now and want to partake in all of it. The point is that we should get to choose.

How long does it take for a biological specie to unlock the secrets of immortality?

Science fiction has often toyed with the idea of immortality and, depending on the route we want to take, or the definition of immortality we choose, we may be closer than we think. Keeping in mind that the current estimate of the technological space required to upload a human mind into a computer is 1 Petabyte and there’s already been a successful microchip connected to a human brain... we may be less than a century away from successfully uploading a human mind into a machine – thus reaching, a primitive version of, immortality.
We could also reach immortality by “freezing” ourselves, using cryogenics technology, until such time when better means are available to us.

Our lifespan is currently limited but it may not always be so.

Limits of Technological Advancement

Is there a limit to technological advancement? If the limit is our imagination then the limit effectively becomes our needs and desires. Once those are satisfied, what could we possibly want more?

Imagination has its limits…

Once we reach immortality, once we can create universes at the blink of an eye, what more could we possibly want? The limit of technology is tied to the imagination of the creator. If the imagination of the creator is limitless then so, too, is the technological advances.

Someone Else' Perspective

“…all people see the world, not as it is, but as they are.”

-Stephen R. Covey

An important part of understanding each other is found in the ability to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes in order to see the world as they see it.

An anxious person will see things to be anxious about. A happy person sees things that foster happiness. An angry person will see things that make them angry.

This is a strategy I have to use at work. I know, for example, the details of my instructions can differ greatly depending on who the recepient is as people understand the project differently.

A little consideration for others can go a long way in creating synergy. If we saw more things, from someone else's perspective, the world would be a better place.

War Has Changed?

Many species on Earth wage wars however we're the only specie that can choose not to and it's entirely possible that we'll, eventually, favor lasting peace over war.

Who said that war doesn't change?

We can see a glimpse of this peaceful future by the sort of rules we've created for waging wars. We've restricted the weapons that we can use, the sort of punishment we can do on prisoners, we don't allow unnecessary destruction of civilian housing, we allow temporary truce in the middle of a conflict for aid to go through...

War is still has painful as it ever was but we have deemed it necessary to restrict ourselves on some things and that restriction can either grow to the point of lasting peace or decrease to the point of anarchy. 

We live in a relatively peaceful time in our history. Violence, in democracy/industrialized society, is not as prevalent as it once was. We've created global alliances that greatly reinforced the relationship between countries and, at the same time, decrease conflict between them. 

Hopefully we can maintain this trend and find ways to get along.

Respect the Weights

A few years ago, I was working out with a guy who's philosophy was to lift as heavy as possible - all the time and he ended up being pain.
The internet is full of people who got injured at the gym. There are ways to minimize the risk of injuries while working out. The below are things to consider when lifting weights:

• No ego lifting - Don't lift more than you can comfortably lift unless you have a spotter or are using a machine with safety features.
• Lift weights using proper posture.
• Lift with your knees.
• Understand 10lbs can be the difference between a good or a bad posture.
• You need a diet that supports the workout.
• Don't overdo it.
• The only person you're competing against is you.
• Don't underestimate the importance of sleep and recovery period.
• Use belts/harness/support when appropriate.

Respect the weights essentially means to pay attention to what you're doing with them. Focus on what you're doing while you're at the gym.

Be safe while working out!

Merchandising Rebel Movements

When I was younger, the Punk lifestyle was considered a way to "rebel" against the system. With age, I came to see these movements as nothing more than a way to sell merchandise to young minds. 

When joining these groups, we get a sense of belonging or fighting for a cause that is believed, by the group at least, to be a worthy one. Let's not deceive ourselves, however, as most of these movements are nothing more than channels created to sell - some artists livelihood depends on it.

This isn't to say that there's something wrong with these strategies but we must recognize them for what they are.

Midlife Crisis

I'm currently experiencing the sort of melancholy that is typically experience by those, like me, that are near their 40th birthday. In movies, this is a period typically associated with a big purchase such as a sport car or a motorcycle but I've had no such desires.

My experience with midlife crisis has been one where I think more of death whether it be mine or my friends/family. If I do manage to reach old age, I wonder what sort of problems awaits me. Will I suffer from dementia? Will have knee or back problems? Will I be a grumpy old man?

Family gathering have taken on a new meaning as I'm left wondering if it'll be the last time where we will be able to all gather in the same room. Every year, we seem to loose a few members. How many more family gathering do we have left? Will we know when we've had our last one?

It's increasingly difficult for me to spend time on things that doesn't matter as there's a greater sense of urgency to everything I do. The feeling of invincibility I had in my youth is no more - there's a definite sense that life is finite. 

When we're young, life gives us everything and slowly takes it all away as we get older.

Change is inevitable.

Being Happy To Give Happy

There's a saying that says that you can't give what you don't have which is also true in the case of happiness. In the words of Les Giblin, from his book "How to have confidence and power in dealing with people";

"For many years, we have assumed that if we attempted to satisfy our own desires for success and happiness, we would of necessity deprive some other person of satisfying his own wants. But the evidence all points in the other direction.
A happy human being is more likely to spread happiness than an unhappy human being. A prosperous human being is more likely to benefit those with whom he deals than is a chronic failure. A person who has reasonably satisfied his own desires is much more generous and considerate in taking into account the desires of others than is a person whose every desire has been frustrated.
Psychologists, criminologists, ministers, and now even doctors tell us that most of the trouble and misery in this world is caused by unhappy people. They tell us that by making yourself miserable and frustrated, you are doing other people the greatest disservice you could possibly devise.”

The following are things that we can do in order to help with our happiness:

• Sleep - This is likely the most important thing you can do. Lack of sleep, over a period of time, can be detrimental to our overall health including our happiness.
• Exercise -  Working out is a good way to get rid of the stress we've accumulated.
• Diet - Eating properly helps with our overall well-being.
• Volunteer -  Feeling useful can help with our happiness.
• Meditation/Reading - Getting into the right mindset can help with our happiness.
• Removing Negativity - Are you watching too much negative news? Are you hanging out with people that are always negative? Limiting your exposure to these can help with morale.
• Hangout with Friends - Being around good people can help alleviate the burdens of life.
• Financial Stability - Being excessively in debt adds stress to life hence why it's important, for our happiness, to be financially responsible.
• Buy Less Things - Happiness isn't found in things and usually the less things we have, and the more we realize that we don't actually need all those things, the happier we get.
• Go Outside - Don't underestimate the power of a good hike in nature on a sunny day.
• Have Goals - Having a goal, or a purpose, can add some excitement to your life and help with happiness.

Pleasure doesn't bring happiness...

It's important not to confuse pleasure with happiness. Orrin Woodward said "Pleasure does not bring happiness; it only brings an increasing hunger for more pleasure." Whether it be alcohol/drugs, endless entertainment (or other)... these things are nothing but traps that we fall into as a way to escape the problems of life.

Be happy to give happy.

The Purpose of Relationship Books

I recently had a chat with someone who had read relationship books, such as the "5 love languages" by Gary Chapman, and was using what she had learned to distance herself from other potential mates. In her mind, if the man didn't share the same love language it meant that the relationship wouldn't work out.

This isn't the purpose of relationship books...

Gary Chapman didn't write a book on love languages for you to weed out those that doesn't share the same love languages as you. He wrote the book in order for you to be aware of the differences in love languages and the importance of learning to speak each other's love language.

On paper, it's true that relationship with someone that has the same love language as you should be easier... but also limiting you to a smaller pool of potential partners. Other characteristics needs to be considered. If someone is abusive, but speak the same love language as you, it doesn't mean that you should be in a relationship with that person.

Relationship books exist to help people have more meaningful connections with each other.

Act Poor – Be Rich

Associating objects with status is a sentiment most commonly associated with a society based on consumerism. We buy fancy jewelry, cars, clothes (...) as a way to show our wealth. 

Some brands appear fancy, as a way to appeal to the masses, without actually being that superior in any meaningful ways other than brand image. Many would consider Apple phones, for example, to be “premium/fancy” when in reality, from a technological stand point, it’s just an overpriced piece of technology. 

People buy into the status more so than the phone itself.

I will always remember when I first started working in my career. I was living in a new town, near a low income street, and could barely afford it. I had an old phone and kept meeting people, from those low income houses, that had the latest/greatest versions of these devices. The desire to appear financially successful is very much alive regardless of one’s income.

The issue with this mindset is that, by acting rich, we remain poor. The only way to be rich is to act poor. We need to live below, not beyond, our means – always.

Choosing Our Problems

I once attended a leadership seminar where the speaker said "those of you who are single have single problems and those of you who are in a relationship have relationship problems... part of life is about choosing the sort of problems that you want."

Life is FILLED with problems and we get to choose some to take care of. If we play soccer, we're responsible to resolve soccer related problems. If we choose a specific career path, then we choose to resolve problems related to that career.

A friend of mine said that she wished she was married as it would resolved most of her current problems. While that may be true, marriage will introduce a set of new problems to deal with.

Of course, sometimes life forces problems unto us, such as a disease, that we have to deal with. We must learn to deal with our problems and choose the ones that best fit who we are.

The Many Distractions of Today

Never in our history have we had so much entertainment. This created a generation of individuals that knows more about the likes of “Star Wars” and very little about anything else. Important subjects, such as Politics, Economy, Law... are pushed aside in favour of imaginary worlds. This creates individuals that are ill-equipped to traverse the obstacles of the societies that allowed them these pleasures.

It is said that during the fall of the Roman Empire, as the Barbarian were at the gates of the city, the general populace wanted the Emperor to initiate "games" in the colosseum. All they wanted, as their society collapsed, was to be entertained. 

Some may say that "Ignorance is bliss" but that isn't true. Ignorance opens the door to be taken advantage of. Freedom comes with responsibility and that responsibility is to be educated enough to recognize when Freedoms are being taken away. Similar to the Romans, if all we care about is our distractions, while the barbarians are at our doors, then we may end up loosing our freedoms.

Allow yourself to be entertainment but also remember that you, as a citizen, have a responsibility to uphold the freedom that was given to you.

Everyone is a “Work in Progress”

I recently met someone who put a great deal of effort into her self-improvement. She felt like she was the only person in the world that was as “flawed” as she was hence why she “required to be fixed”.

The reality is that everyone is a “Work in Progress” and few people realize it with even fewer people putting in the effort to improve themselves. It’s extremely rare to find someone with the desire to become the best version of themselves.

If self-improvement doesn’t feel like a positive experience it’s because it’s approached from the perspective of “everything about myself is wrong and I need to fix it”.
For self-improvement to be a positive experience, the author must first understand that the raw material is already great and whatever effort is put in will make it shine brighter. 

The first step is to find peace with who you are currently. You’re not perfect but you have redeeming qualities that makes you great. The flaws you have aren’t as big as you make them out to be.

Mindful Associations

Understanding the power of influence is an important step of the self-improvement journey. One of my mentors used to tell me that if you enter a room with 2 idiots - 3 idiots will come out. This was an example of the power of influences.

If all of your friends are smokers, than chances are high that you will also smoke. Of course, if you understand the power of influence, then you can use this to your advantage by looking to associate yourself with people of the qualities that you're looking to attain.

“Get a millionaire mentor. Most of us were brought up middle class or poor and then hold ourselves to the limits and ideas of that group. I have been studying millionaires to duplicate what they did. Get your own personal millionaire mentor and study them. Most rich people are extremely generous with their knowledge and their resources.” 

-Yvon Chouinard

My mentor also told me that he was able to determined my income based on the average income of my 5 closest friends. We can't deny that we're likely more easily influenced than we like to believe that we are. Be careful who you hangout with as you may end up like them.

The Puzzle of Life

We're pieces in the puzzle of life; We come in different shapes/sizes. Some compare themselves with other pieces for the purpose of finding reasons not to connect while others are doing the same in order to seek connections.

"Don't walk in front of me... I may not follow. Don't walk behind me... I may not lead. Walk beside me... just be my friend."

-Albert Camus

What we ought to do is the later as we're at our best when we connect with each other. Friendship is the canvas with which we find peace. We need to stop looking at what differentiate us more than what we have in common. We must find ways to move beyond our conflict.

"Do I not destroy my enemies by making them my friends?"

-Abraham Lincoln

Thinking Distance

“From the neck down you're worth minimum wage, from the neck up your opportunity is unlimited.” 

-Zig Ziglar

One of the downside of reading non-fiction is that you may come to the point where you're no longer as comfortable being involved in deep conversations with those that don't read for the simple reason that you feel there's a distance between how they think compared to you.

Bodybuilders are sometime faced with the "leave humanity behind" prerogative which essentially mean that they reach a point in their bodybuilding careers where they make the decision to do whatever it takes to be as big as they can be. 

Intellectuals also go through a similar change as they can reach a point where they decide that they will no longer think like the masses.

The distance felt can go both ways as intellectual can meet people that are further along their journey just as much as those that aren't as far. The important part is to be respectful of everyone and keep our minds open to new ideas. Be patient to those that aren't as far along as you just as you would expect someone further along to be patient with you.

No Work No Problem?

A friend of mine was injured back in 2014 and has been on disability ever since. She admitted to me that not working was boring for her and she didn't wish it on anybody. My retired dad has been telling me the same.

Try me...

While I can certainly understand that we can run out of "shows" to watch or "video games to play" I still believe that getting bored wouldn't happen to me because I have plenty of things to occupy myself outside of the mindless entertainment.

Feeling useful is what my dad misses the most about working but that's because he hasn't really found  ways, outside of work, to get that feeling. I not only have, through such things as writing, I've also found ways to do it outside of my full time work.

In the workplace, some people can't do anything unless they're told what to do. I suspect that those are people that would miss work the most as they can't seem to function without someone else telling them what to do. 

That's never been my problem because I've approach every project with the "how can I add value to this" mindset. I need very little guidance before I find ways to contribute and this attribute has spilled out in my personal life as well.

For now, however, I can only speculate how I'll be during my own retirement.

A Dictatorship in America? Really?

I never thought I would see the day when voting for a President was choosing between a Democracy and Dictatorship. I always thought that dictatorship was something that was forced unto a conquered country... not something voted in or that people wished for.

Americans, under the Trump cult, seems to be wanting democracy to be overthrown in favor of a dictatorship. If we look at China, Russia, North Korea... can we really say that dictatorship is better than a democracy? 

The only people benefiting from dictatorships are the elites. Only Trump, and his closets of allies, would reap the rewards of America becoming a dictatorship.

A democracy, which gives the power to the people, isn't a perfect form of government but its definitely an evolution over dictatorship. America would loose, on all fronts, by this downgrade and perhaps serves as a reminder that good things don't last and if it can happen to America then it can happen to any country.

Be better, America, not only for your sake but for the world.

How To Develop Critical Thinking

"Critical thinking is the intellectually disciplined process of actively and skillfully conceptualizing, applying, analyzing, synthesizing, and/or evaluating information gathered from, or generated by, observation, experience, reflection, reasoning, or communication, as a guide to belief and action."

-louisville.edu

In short, critical thinking is the ability to question the information presented to you.

Reinforce your critical thinking abilities with reading...

If you read non-fiction books of similar subjects you will encounter situations where there's contradictions either amongst the authors or with your own experience. You, the reader, will need to think about who's right/wrong and that exercise is what ultimately develops your critical thinking abilities. 

Critical thinking is a lost art because not enough people are reading or being exposed to situations that requires them to think critically. Society suffers when there's not enough critical thinkers.

The Torch of Knowledge

We must learn from our ancestors, sprinkle in some of our own knowledge, and pass it on to the next generation hoping that they’ll do the same. Shame is having to relearn a lesson from the history of our civilization. We must keep pushing our understanding, perfect it, make it easier to learn, for the benefit of students that will follow in our footsteps.

Life is short - we are but carriers of the torch of knowledge. We’re but messengers in the canvas of our civilization.

Read, learn every day, become all that you’re supposed to be, share your lessons with the hopes that someone will learn from your mistakes. Make tomorrow better from your contribution.

Growing Up Is A Choice

As a kid, I would look at adults with awe because I believed that they had everything figured out. Now that I'm an adult I realize that not only do most people don't have everything figured out they're basically thinking the same way as they did when they were kids.

“Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional.” 

-Walt Disney (or Charles Theodore Davis)

While you'll never have everything figured out, you must live your life in such a way that if you were to look back 5 years ago you can see how much progress you've made since. Gray hair, by itself, isn't a good enough indicator of how "grown up" someone is.

How do I "grow up"?

You need to plan for it as it won't happen naturally. You need constantly challenge your philosophies for life, read and associate with people that are better than you so that some of their experiences can rub off on you.